So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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