Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize