she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
