YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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