chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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