8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize