and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
