No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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