so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
