i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
