ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
