he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
