Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
