**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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