It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
