And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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