Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
