i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
