first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
