go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
