I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
