Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
