Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
