You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When did angry sex become our thing?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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