I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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