There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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