How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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