If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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