Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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