i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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