I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
