Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
