You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize