White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
