how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
