69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
