cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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