come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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