did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
