Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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