What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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