I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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