I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
