You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
