if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
