D3 body, D1 cock
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize