Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
