k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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