He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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