I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Jerry, you need to find god
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I could fuck to npr.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
