i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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