i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had to cum in my sink.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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