My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
