yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
