I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
