I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
worst night to have a conscience
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
