Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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