I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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