dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
