if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
