when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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