Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
