Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
