I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
