And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
